Ever been petrified as a parent but had to act brave for your kids? This was me last week. Yet another notch in the ‘growing up’ phase of my life, I guess.
With my husband traveling, it was a me-and-my-gals type of week with no ‘Hubby can you help me for a moment?’ moments. (Yes, I’m exhausted.) All was fine until my burglar alarm unexpectedly erupted around 1am in the morning, alerting me that my master bathroom window was opened (I have one of those alarms that talks in a scary, urgent voice). Naturally, I freaked out inside. I additionally freaked out inside when it then started saying that my master bedroom window was opened too.
Yes, both my girls started screaming in their cribs. And I was by myself. Petrified with a pounding heart… at 1am in the morning.
I flipped on all the lights and yelled to my girls down the hallway “Mommy’s here I’m coming!”
With quick glances, I saw my master bathroom window was closed. My master bedroom window was closed too. My girls were still screaming and my heart was still pounding and my alarm unit was still yelling at me that my windows were ajar. (By this point, I was also royally ticked at my husband for being gone.) BE BRAVE, was all I could think…. there are little people here with me.
I took a deep breath and went into my girls’ room to scoop them up (yes, both of them: a 30-lb toddler and a 20-lb mini-toddler). I at least wanted to be holding them should I have to make an emergency mad dash outta the house if there really was a psycho outside trying to get in. (There was no psycho, but my imagination told me differently.) I carried both of them with me to the alarm unit with a big animated smile, saying “How silly is this! What a crazy funny noise!” as I disabled the piercing sound. “Come with me, girlies,” I continued, as we all trekked to each and every room (with my little one holding my car keys, just in case) to make sure doors and windows were locked. I wanted to cry (in case you haven’t figured it out, I’m a big chicken when it comes to staying by myself and burglar alarms going off in the middle of the night).
BE BRAVE. YOU’RE THE MOTHER.
I couldn’t help but find courage in remembering how my mom used to handle scary things when I was a little girl… I don’t think I ever saw her frightened once. I also thought of how both of my 90+ grandmothers (still living) are such strong, solid women who insist on still living alone in their own homes because those are their ‘homes’… they’re not scared. So I made the choice to not be scared either. I had four little big eyes (on the brink of major flipouts) looking to me to make sure that everything was ok… I wasn’t going to let them down. Eventually we all went to bed to wake up with tired smiles the next morning.
Luckily, my alarm debocle was just a battery fluke, but a good drill in keeping my wits about me should I get scared like that again. It was also a sharp reminder to have some sort of home safety plan worked out in my head should we ever need to use it.
Because I’m the mom… and it’s my job to be brave whether I like it or not.
HAVE YOU EVER HIDDEN YOUR FEAR FOR YOUR KIDS’ SAKE?