Having a baby shower is an exciting step on the journey to adding a new member to your family. Usually held in the third trimester, it marks the end of the pregnancy. All of the amazing gifts from family and friends fill up the house and make it seem more real. A baby is coming soon!
But what if you already have a kid? What if this is your second – or even third? Should you still have a baby shower or just suck it up and rely on hand-me-downs and your own resources. There are many differing opinions on this subject.
My first baby shower was fairly small, as you can imagine a 20-year-old un-wed pregnant mom’s baby shower would be. The few friends I had in the area – I had just recently moved to Southern California – were there, as well as my mother and grandmother in-law, and some of their close friends. I didn’t have much of a registry since I had no idea what I needed, but I did get some nice gifts that got a lot of use.
When I was pregnant with my second son, my mom and a few other members of my family thought that I shouldn’t have another shower, especially since I was having another boy. For me, it wasn’t really about presents, but the chance to celebrate having another member of the family. So we went ahead with our baby shower, but I didn’t register and didn’t ask for gifts. Instead of a traditional women-only shower, we had a co-ed party with lots of fun games and many friends who weren’t around for the first baby anyway. And almost everyone who game showered us with Target gift cards, which are extremely useful when having a new baby.
It was almost three years from that shower when I found out that I was pregnant again. I went back and forth between whether or not I should have another shower. Many of my close friends I had made within the last couple of years, and some were so excited about having a new baby around that they were happy to throw and attend a baby shower for me. I wasn’t going to register for anything, but some of my friends asked if I would so that they knew what I needed. I threw a quick list together, but since this baby was due in the summer as opposed to my other two winter babies, the thing he needed most was clothes. Luckily, my friends were happy to pick out baby outfits for him.
Many people choose to have second, third, or even fourth baby showers, although none that I have been to are ever as big and extravagant as the first. There is the opinion that it is rude or greedy to have another baby shower, which I think only perpetuates the fact that the first-born child always gets more.
If you’re having another baby and you’d like to celebrate, do it! You’ll want those pictures of you and your family and friends celebrating that adorable baby bump. You can ask guests not to bring gifts, or only to bring diapers or books, or if you’re really worried about looking greedy you can even ask them to just make a small donation to a charity in your baby’s name. But have fun, play some silly games, and share your new family member with everyone you love!
What do you think about having second or third baby showers? Have you had more than one?
Pictures courtesy of Microsoft Office Online’s Free Library