It’s been almost a year since I wrote the post “So we found out the sex and I’m not excited“ about my discovery that I was not having the girl I so desired. Since then we welcomed our second son, Punkin, into the family and celebrated his six-month birthday last week. I think it’s time to look back at how God dried my tears and answered my prayers.
To be honest, I always wanted to do a part two of this post when I found the joy that had eluded me when I first learned Punkin was a boy. I’m so glad I waited ’til now when I’ve had time to take in this little human and learn who he is and how he fits into our family. Let me begin by sharing I did eventually get excited about having another boy. Going through my first son’s baby clothes and realizing I get to use them again for his little brother really helped bring about that excitement. Finally deciding on a name, although it took quite awhile, also added to the enthusiasm. Those special few days in the hospital after his birth were also such a wonderful bonding experience that I will forever cherish. I so enjoyed my birth experience with Punkin, much more so than my anxiety-ridden experience with my first birth.
I’m having so much more fun the second time around! Probably due to not being the freaked out new mom that I was when I didn’t know what to expect, but also partly because of Punkin’s low-key personality. When I was pregnant my two greatest fears were the lack of sleep and how Little Man would react to another baby in the house. Thankfully God heard my anxious prayers and not only answered them but went above and beyond what I could have imagined or asked for.
Punkin’s nickname is Smiles and he certainly deserves it. He will smile at anyone who gives him attention and on those days when Little Man is driving me to the end of my patience I can look over at Punkin’s big toothless grin to assuage my frustration. This baby was sleeping five hours straight from the hospital. By four months he had started sleeping through the night…ON HIS OWN! Although I sometimes have a hard time putting him down for naps, most of the time he will turn over, stick his thumb in his mouth, and put himself to sleep. I have never experienced this before and believe me I don’t take it for granted. I know how blessed I am and I thank God on a daily basis for this amazing sleeper. He truly is a happy baby in every sense of the word.
My other fear was short lived as I made it a point to allow Little Man plenty of mommy time. I’ve also allowed him to handle and bond with his brother without constantly reminding him to “be careful of his head,” “be gentle,” and “don’t poke him in the eye!” We certainly had some tough weeks where Little Man acted out because he needed more attention but I never heard those comments I dreaded such as, “Can we take him back to the hospital yet?” He loves his little brother and any anger or frustration that arises due to the baby is directed at my husband and I rather than Punkin.
Although I don’t always know why things happen the way they do I do know that there is always a reason. I do know that God wants this little baby boy in the world and I am lucky enough to be his mommy. But mostly I trust that God will eventually turn my sadness into joy and excitement. -Excerpt from my previous post
I still can’t read my previous post without welling up with tears. I remember the sadness so vividly but even more so I can now see God’s faithfulness in turning my sorrow into joy. I am so head over heels in love with this adorable baby boy. The smell of his head, the kissable cheeks, that drooly smile, the focused brow furrow when he tries to reach for something, and the way he hooks his nose with his fore finger as he sucks his thumb. I cherish every day I get to spend with him and cannot imagine my life without him.
Were you excited about the sex of your baby? If not, did your feelings change after giving birth?