It’s been a little bit crazy lately over here and I’ve let some things move to the back burner. One of those things being the periodical cleaning-out of my van. It’s gotten so bad that my husband can’t stand to be in it. I really need to get a good back seat organizer. But instead of cleaning it, I decided to sit down and write a poem about it. For your enjoyment, and to make you feel better about your own vehicle, here it is.

Yes, it’s really this bad!

Ode to my van

I think it’s really kind of mean
That my van is never clean.

Every time I check the mail
It multiplies, and without fail-

It ends up here, it ends up there
Under the seat, just everywhere.

Since we are always on the go
Granola bar wrappers make it their home.

Socks and cups and dirty jackets
Basketballs and tennis rackets;

Half a years’ worth of school art projects
An assortment of random unnamed objects;

Bottles and cans that should be recycled
This messiness is extremely unbridled.

My van looks like something from the show Hoarders
Maybe if I clean it I’ll find some quarters;

But no amount of money could buy the feeling
Of not having marker drawn all over your ceiling.

Maybe one day when my kids are grown
It won’t look like it was in a cyclone.

But for now I’ll have to deal
With my trash heap on four wheels.


Do you have a messy car? If not, how the heck do you keep it clean?!

4 Responses to Ode to my van

  1. Catherine says:

    That. is. awesome. Hilarious. We keep our car pretty clean. I’m not exactly sure how though. We don’t eat in it very often and we try to take all the random stuff out of it each time we pull into the garage. We’ll see if it stays clean when the baby hits the messy toddler stage though. Then I’m sure we’ll end up with cereal and raisins everywhere.

    • I think part of it is that I have three kids, each with different schedules, and some days I feel like I’m driving around all day long. Plus with the baby it’s hard for me to carry extra stuff into the house, and who wants to make two trips?

  2. jillsimonian says:

    I’m laughing! Curious to hear what you could come up with for my “junk drawer” in the kitchen (I know you’re not ‘supposed’ to allow yourself to have one of those… but whatever.). 🙂

  3. Debra says:

    That is awesome. Although I got to tell you my van has your van beat on messiness. Not sure if that is something to brag about though!

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