Holding my first born at 2 days old. I had no idea the way this would change me

Holding my firstborn at 2 days old. I had no idea the way this would change me

Becoming a mom is such a life changing event and no matter how much preparation you do it will still leave you floundering with tons of questions. Until you hold that little baby you won’t understand how a tiny little person could elicit such crazy love from the depths of your soul that you would tackle a grizzly bear to save them. While at the same time they can make you go batty from lack of sleep and want to cry right along with them as you walk the hallway in your slippers soothing them to sleep for the tenth time that night.

One thing I was truly unprepared for was how my body would react to the ever-changing hormone levels. I recall the first six months of my firstborn son’s life as the hardest six months I’ve ever had. My life felt monotonous and boring. My anxiety was the worst at night as I never knew how much sleep I would get. My moods were based on his moods and I recall thinking “This has got to get better right?”

I knew I needed community and support so I began researching local moms groups. I found a MOPS group nearby and set up to attend a meeting. I was so freaked out at walking into a room of strangers. Would they notice I didn’t get a shower that morning? Would they judge me based on what baby gear I was sporting? Would the meeting even be helpful to me as I could barely put two sentences together?

That morning did not go as planned, I was so late! I quickly dropped off my son in childcare and snuck in the back to grab a chair by myself. I looked around the room and noticed tablecloths on every table with pretty centerpieces. There was a huge buffet table with all sorts of brunch dishes and these women were eating HOT food without any distractions. As the speaker ended and it went to discussion at the tables a wonderful woman invited me to join their table. I timidly pulled my chair in and all I saw was smiling faces filled with compassion. They knew every struggle I was facing. They understood every tear I shed. They never once judged me as a mom, wife or friend. It was exactly what I needed.

You can imagine my appreciation for MOPS and the support and friendships it provides. I have now been coordinating this group the past two years but my favorite part is still welcoming those moms that walk through the door for the first time, bleary eyed and craving someone to understand.

How has a moms group helped you in your journey as a mom?

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