I imagine there must be a certain delight in seeing yourself and your partner in
your child. To have your baby look back at you through your own eyes – to smile at you
with a tiny version of your husband’s mouth. As we began the adoption process, it
crossed my mind that I might feel a sadness at knowing I would never get to have that
type of connection with my child. That worry though, like so many others, vanished as
soon as my daughter was born. I realized that rather than looking into a mirror, seeing
her was more like gazing through a window – a window that will always be open to her
birth family.

My daughter has the same mouth and, from time to time, the same little furrow in
her brow that her birth mom has. She shares a single dimple with her birth dad and one
of her sisters and her perfect little ears are just like another of her sisters. I feel so
incredibly lucky to know our daughter’s birth family the way we do. Seeing all of them in
her, I am reminded again and again of the tremendous gift they came to give us.


I never could have imagined, never could have hoped for such an amazing
relationship with them. It has added such a richness to my beliefs about the nature of
love and family. It has also helped me fully appreciate that though the beginning of life
may be dictated by lines of genetic code, what a life becomes is fleshed out in the
space between those lines. As I watch my daughter learn how to be a kind, smart,
curious human, I am watching that space take shape. And as it forms, who knows, I
might be gazing through that beautiful window one day and catch a glimpse of my
reflection in the glass.

What traits does your son or daughter take after you?



One Response to Looking at My Daughter I See Her Birth Family Looking Back

  1. Cathy Vargas says:

    Beautiful family 🙂

    Cathy Vargas
    Vintage Girls

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