Seriously ladies, what’s with all the mom judging?! Sadly, we’ve all heard it (and maybe experienced it) over major parenting decisions like staying at home vs. working outside the home; breastfeeding vs. formula feeding; vaccinating vs. anti-vaccines. But, now I see articles calling out moms about ALL kinds of things. This past week, the “thing” directed at me was my son’s 1st day of school lunch. It was shared on Facebook, and while most comments were overwhelming positive, there were those that said, “Wow, someone with too much time on their hands.”
First off, I still don’t understand what happened to the old adage “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” But, aside from that, what I really don’t get is the judgment and the assumptions in the first place. Why do you presume that I have “too much” time on my hands to make a fun lunch for my young child on his first day of school?
Seriously moms, when can we STOP with judging other moms? Why not just support each other? I’d like to think that we’re all just doing our best at the time (or at least trying to). And, since we’re all different, our bests all look different. It’s not all a competition. Just because I make a cute Olaf lunch for my kid doesn’t make you an inadequate mom if you don’t. It’s just something I love to do for my kids. I love doing creative things (and that was the case long before becoming a mom). I know that’s not for everyone and that’s totally okay! Running marathons isn’t my thing, but it is for some moms, and they ROCK it. I would never say of a marathon-running mom, “Wow, she’s got too much time on her hands if she can go running.” I don’t get it.
As parents, we’re making decisions about our time and our kids ALL THE TIME! So, yes, sometimes I choose to take 10 extra minutes out of my day to make a special lunch for my boys. Other days I may choose to put a special note in their bags. It’s just one of the special ways I like to show my kids that I love them. The special things you do for your children may look different, and that’s okay. It’s not about having too much time; it’s merely how I choose to spend a some of my time on some days. And, other days I might forget his lunch altogether (yep, that did happen).
I want our kids to see the good in others; to lift each other up; to be kind; be supportive.
Wouldn’t it be nice if they saw and heard more adults modeling that behavior?