This is a guest post written by Krishann Briscoe
During my pregnancy, as I got closer to my due date it was evident that I wasn’t the only one anxiously awaiting my baby’s arrival. Family and friends shared that they couldn’t wait to meet her and were already letting me know of their plans to visit right away. I remember multiple conversations during which my husband and I discussed how we would handle visits once she arrived. He was excited to have visitors because to him it meant more love for our precious newborn. I was concerned I wouldn’t be up to it despite being grateful that she was already loved so
We ended up having visitors in the hospital and at home almost daily. I was exhausted, in pain and didn’t want to have to worry about what I was wearing, brushing my hair or feeling like I had to entertain. At the same time I didn’t want our loved ones to think that I was being selfish, mean or unappreciative given how excited they were to meet our littlest lady. I felt guilty for turning anyone away.
One day my husband told me someone wanted to visit that evening and I began weeping. Yes, I was hormonal but I had also reached my breaking point. I needed time. While it’s wonderful for our babies to be showered with love and affection beyond what we can give them there’s time for that. What’s most important is that we’re in a good mental and emotional state so that we can appropriately care for them.
As hard as it may be at times it’s ok to say no. You don’t have to have visitors at the hospital or at home unless it’s something you and your partner both want and agree to. As much as everyone wants to meet your baby the time will come and in the meantime there’s Instagram.
The postpartum period isn’t the time for you to cater to everyone else. It’s a time for your body to begin the healing process and for you to further deepen your connection with your baby.
So if you aren’t ready for company just yet say so. You can politely let people know that you’re in the process of getting settled and that you appreciate their understanding. Whether your loved ones meet your baby when he or she is two days old, two weeks old or two months old they will love them just the same. They can look forward to many years of moments shared — holidays, birthdays, performances and so much more. This is your time to heal, to attempt to rest and to get better acquainted with that angel you carried in your belly all those months.
Krishann is a Child Welfare professional with a heart for children and families, and a passion for writing and dessert. She is a wife and a mother who is seeking to find more joy in her journey through life. In addition to authoring her personal blog His Mrs. Her Mr., Krishann writes for Babble’s Strollerderby blog and is also a contributor for The Conversation and The Conscious Perspective. Krishann resides in Southern California with her husband and their two daughters.
My blog: His Mrs. Her Mr.