During a few minutes of mindless internet time during the baby’s nap I stumbled on an article about Hilary Duff. Everyone needs to read fluff every now and then right? The article talked of her Christmas plans and how much she loves her young son, Luca. Towards the end the article went on to say:

Having just regained her pre-baby body, Duff admits adding another baby to the mix isn’t in the couple’s immediate future.

“Mike and I are literally obsessed with Luca. We’re like, ‘He’s perfect. We should just be one and done,’” she shares. ”But I think once your baby starts getting older you miss that phase and you go in for round two. Maybe when [Luca's] two or three?”

Ah, the old one and done. I say this 4 years down the road from where Hilary Duff now stands. You see, after having our first baby my husband and I unanimously decided that we were a “one and done” family. We were so happy as a unit of three. We could look down the road and see how having one child would be easier financially, time-wise and sanity-wise. We could spend our days loving and supporting our only child and still have time and money to do things for ourselves. It was a winning plan.

Until, of course, we had a very swift change of heart. In a matter of months- just as our daughter was nearing her fourth birthday- we switched courses, decided to start trying for another baby and we quickly conceived baby number two. Today baby number two is nearly seven-months-old and we are all completely in love with her. I can’t imagine what life would be like without her. I am sure life would have been happy and full as a family of three, but her chubby cheeks and sweet smile paired with the way my girls overflow with love for each other show me that life is so very sweet as a family of four.

I am in no way doubting Hilary Duff when she says she might like life as a tri instead of a quad. If that is what makes her happy, if that is what feels right for her family then more power to her.

So what about me? We were so firmly one and done, then we were not. Are we satisfied with a pair or do we feel the pull for just one more?  Honestly we’ve learned that unless we are 100% willing to do something concrete we are not willing to say with any certainty what the future holds for us and more children.

So my question to you is this, how do you know when you are done having children?

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11 Responses to How do you know when you are done having children?

  1. Gillian Bliss says:

    Over the age of 40 and 4 miscarriages under my belt spelled done for me. Tubes tied and happy.

  2. Haley says:

    I am one and done. Jack is 5 in school and I am regaining a part of myself that I am happy to have back. Plus the older I get if I were to have more I see less time in my life with my husband travelling and enjoying life once Jack is grown and gone.

  3. Jessie Turner says:

    We are a two and done family; at least with pregnancy and newborns. We felt we could care for two
    children and didn’t want to have an only child.
    Hubby is an only and I am the oldest of 4. If finances allow, we hope to consider adoption of an older child someday.

  4. Kathyn says:

    I really want another. I have 3 beautiful children and my hubby and I m decided to have a vasectomy right after my last was born. BIGGEST mistake of my life! We want another so bad it kills us. Unfortunately it cost 10K and up to get a reversal. I have always in visioned having a big family :)

  5. ABCD&Z says:

    We have a 5y, 2y and a 4month old baby and could not be happier. We thought we were done with 2 but decided to try for another and it happened. While pregnant with #3 we talked about getting my tubes tied. It was supposed to happen the day after he was born but I felt too good and did not want to go through with it. Now I am so glad we decided not to go through with it. I do not know if we will have more but at least the option is still there. I think it is not a wise decision to make while pregnant or the first year and a half after baby is born since hormones are present to make you want a baby. So who knows maybe we will maybe we will not but either way we are a happy, healthy and loving family of 5 (for now).

    • Catherine says:

      Good point. The hormones and lack of sleep during pregnancy and in the first little while after the baby is born make it hard to make decisions that aren’t purely emotional.

  6. I’ve given up saying I’m totally done having kids because I can’t predict how I’ll feel in a few years. I have 4 right now but wouldn’t completely shut down the idea of one more.

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