“This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.” Stitch, Disney’s Lilo & Stitch 2002
How do you keep your family intact when it’s broken up? That makes absolutely no sense. Or so I thought. Until I had a little one asking me if we were still family. And I had to figure how to make him see that with or without daddy being in the home, we were still a family.
There are so many articles out there telling me how to continue being a family with my ex still involved. And I get all that, but what about the day to day. Daddy isn’t here everyday. And to my son, his family was everything and family meant Daddy was with us in the home. Not only did my son not have his father, but we also had to leave what he always knew as home.
So, now what?
Well, I had to show him that his family was not broken…it had just changed.
I had to go back to doing what we were doing before we broke up. Back to routines and traditions that my son could depend on and enjoy. Jax expected donuts & kolaches on Saturday. Family Movie Night w/ popcorn on Friday. If it was raining or
someone was sick, Mommy made “Shicken Soupies”. It went beyond going to Church on Sundays and stories at bedtime.
We still have Family Movie Night with popcorn. I still make my chicken soup if it’s rainy or someone is sick. I’ve added things like Saturday night he spends time with my mom at his favorite indoor playground. Monday night we have family dinner with everyone. On days that he doesn’t have school, we take a morning walk to get coffee & “banilla milkies”.
I’ve made it okay that it’s only the two of us for some of these family things. And it’s okay that he will do some of these things with just his daddy. Two people in a family is okay.
I don’t discount, Daddy. It may just be me and Jax most of the time, but when Daddy comes into town, the three of us will do something together, because the three of us are still a family. But, I don’t want Jax to think that the only time we are a family, is when Daddy is here. I want my child to understand that family changes, evolves and grows. Family can live together and they can live apart. That as long as there is love, there will be a family.
Brooke Abbott: An artist, mom blogger at The Crazy Creole Mommy, entrepreneur and home cook with a philanthropic heart. My life is ﬁlled with laughter and love, led by a rambunctious, sweet, brilliant toddler named Jax Lee Coltrane. I love being a mother. I love eating. I love photographing. I love conversing. I love life!