While I was still pregnant with my third child, I thought about whether or not I was done having children. I discussed it with my husband, and continued the discussion after our son was born. We’ve always differed on our view of our complete family – he always wanted his three boys and I dreamed of four kids of no specific gender. He got his three boys.

am i done having kids

When it came time to talk about family planning again, we took into consideration our finances, our resources, our support system, and how much time and energy we both have. We came to the conclusion that it was best to stop at three children. So my husband scheduled a consultation for his vasectomy and that’s where we left it.

I couldn’t help but feel a bit empty about the decision. People were constantly asking me when I was going to try for a little girl. I’d laugh it off, like I don’t already have my hands full, but maybe it would be nice to have a girl – or even another little boy. But we had come to decision together, and I wasn’t going to go back on it. I had mentioned that in a few years if I still felt the urge to have another child we could consider adoption.

Life is kind of funny, though. That emptiness I felt didn’t stay there for long. While I went back and forth on our agreement in my head, ultimately the end result was chosen for me. And a checkup with my OB soon confirmed by suspicions. Before my husband went in for his procedure, we had managed to get pregnant again. Not an easy task when you have a nine-month-old who still doesn’t quite sleep through the night!

In December our family of five will become a family of six. I have no idea whether we will be blessed with a fourth boy, or surprised with a girl. It doesn’t even matter to me. One thing is for sure, this will be our last child, and I am completely okay with that. I never did like odd numbers.

Are you done having kids? How did you know?

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When I'm not writing, I'm cleaning up after my three very messy boys, ages 8, 5, and 2, and my 1 year old girl. If I had to describe myself in just one sentence: Slightly crunchy, a little crazy and always exhausted.

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8 Responses to Am I done having kids?

  1. Congratulations! That’s so exciting! I love having 4.

  2. Congratulations Angela!! I think 4 is the new 2.

  3. Ahhh! Congratulations!! I have 3 boys too and our babies are almost the exact same age! I don’t feel quite sure about being done either, but my husband is! No surprise announcement here though! ;)

  4. Wow! Congratulations! What a happy surprise.

  5. So excited!!!! Congrats!!

  6. Misty Gutierrez says:

    I thought we were done after our 4th child! But my husband has been trying to convince me to have one more!

  7. You knew at Disneyland?? Why didn’t you say anything?? You are going to have so much fun with a girl!! And your husband will be even more in love than he knows.

  8. […] while ago I posted about our surprise fourth baby on the way. With three boys already running around the house I certainly wouldn’t mind having another […]

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