I know many of my posts have been filled with rainbows and moonbeams about the joys of motherhood. But I have to get real. Everyday is not like that. In fact, I’ll come right out and say it- there have been times when I’ve wished I could take a vacation from motherhood.
I know I’m only human, and I have no doubt a lot of moms have felt that way. Nonetheless, the first time it happened I was truly appalled by myself. We had struggled for nearly five years to become parents. The day our daughter was born, I was reborn. A whole new life, the life I’d dreamed of, began that day. How could I have the gall to wish it away? And then something occurred to me.
The guilt I was feeling was just a sign that I was a regular mom like any other. In a strange way, that made me feel good. Just because my family was created through adoption didn’t mean I was special or saintly. I realized motherhood is motherhood period – no matter how your child comes into your life.
With so many more ups than downs, motherhood has been even more rewarding than I imagined. Now and then, though, I crave a little taste of my life before my daughter arrived. Wanting that and feeling guilty about it is, I imagine, as natural as the bond of mother and child itself. And I know that like the Earth around the Sun, though my life may now revolve around my daughter, a little distance is essential for both of us.