I know, I know, it’s Bump Month (May!) and pregnancy is beautiful thing… but sometimes you just don’t feel all that ravishing when you’re sporting a baby belly (at least I didn’t).

So in honor of celebrating all buns-in-the-ovens these next few weeks, I thought I’d take a minute and rehash some tips I pulled from various sources to perk my pregnant-self up on my ‘down’ days during both my pregnancies. Take ’em or leave ’em (or make fun of them!), these tricks put a smile on my face when I needed it most. And yes, I really have tested them.

Flashback! (2011) Head on, that necklace was blinding.

Flashback! (2011) Head on, that necklace was blinding.

WEAR A GOOD PUSH-UP BRA. Bigger cleavage – paired with a not-too-scandalous low cut shirt – will trump belly-blues any day. (I’m convinced there’s an ego-boosting reason for our boobs getting so big… let’s use it people.)

ACCESSORIZE LIKE YOU’RE A KARDASHIAN. Big necklaces, big bracelets, big earrings, big scarves. Make everything else BIGGER to draw attention away from the watermelon under your shirt. Who cares if you look like a mafia wife? Run with the drama the next few months, then go back to being you.

TEASE YOUR HAIR LIKE YOU LIVE IN TEXAS. (See “bigger” note above.)

DON’T WEAR FITTED MATERNITY TOPS. They may be cute, but they’re tight and show everything (remember?). A loose-fitting and high-waisted A-line will soften that bump in no time. Or, if you’re really obsessed with fitted clothing, opt for something ruched… ruched material works like magic.

DARK, SOLID COLORS ARE YOUR FRIEND. I’m pretty sure I wore black constantly throughout both my pregnancies. (I might’ve thrown in a navy blue every now and then, but…) I like to think I looked hip and chic (as opposed to being in mourning or something). Forget about this spring’s print trend… ignore your instincts to wear white (at least on the days when you feel like you’re the size of an estate).

Wearing a dark, solid colored outfit (i.e.: black flowing top, black stretch pants) paired with the chunkiest gold-and-silver necklace you can find, hair that would make any 80’s pageant girl green with envy and cleavage to make your husband stop in his tracks will make them all ask “Are you still pregnant?” (Ok, maybe not, but it might make ya feel better for a day?)

Extra-extra bonus: Bust out the wedges or high-heels, if only for a few hours. (But ONLY if you were already used to walking around in wedges or heels pre-pregnancy, and are not suffering any physical issues that might harm yourself or your baby!)

Don’t forget to smile… I’m guessing those serotonin triggers in a smiling face still have potential to work with baby-bumps in tow.



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One Response to 5 ways to minimize your baby bump.

  1. “Tease your hair like you line in Texas.” So funny.

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